Bonerkiller: DJs

From Jill, who does the smirk ‘n’ jerk to grown men living the DJ lifestyle:

I have known many wonderful and lovely deejays but dating a DJ is the absolute worst. 

It’s all, “Let’s go to this club on a MONDAY night, even though you work 11 hours a day and you stayed up late to watch/overanalyze “Mad Men” and did I mention it’s MONDAY. 

“Also, let’s stay until closing so I can befriend this DJ. Now we have to come support him every Monday night forever because we’re friends! By the way, we have to go to a different club every night of the week because I got a guest DJ spot here and here and here and here. Finally, hooray! Success! Consistent DJ-ing gigs that generate income, but I am torn up about it because I have to play top 40 for the masses. Oh, the humanity!” 

DJ Cat Skratch Fever in the house  

Next thing you know, your Facebook feed is just one long list of event invitations so overwhelming you didn’t even notice your best friend got engaged and your brother had a baby. His happy news was swallowed by tongue-in-cheek ‘80s album covers repurposed as party fliers, links to SoundCloud mashups and so, so, so, much dubstep. 

Enjoying a quiet dinner at home while listening to your iTunes? I hope you don’t like any of those songs because he changes the song every other second to play you “something new that you will love” that you will hate. Did you ask him to find that song that you liked? Well, he knows that song but NEVER put it on your computer. Not to worry, though, he did put 1500 other songs on there. All dubstep.

kateoplis: 43 Things That Will Make You Feel Old

kateoplis:

27. “Like” and “share”
26. Having to learn what “twerking” is
25. Having to think about whether or not you should eat that
24. Regretting your decision to have eaten that
23. Knowing that the rest of your life will be spent watching other people eat that with abandon while you have something…