Shlooby Kitten

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missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:27:21 -0400

tastefullyoffensive: Dogs from this year’s Creative Dog...

missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:26:07 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

Dogs from this year’s Creative Dog Grooming Competition in Hershey, Pennsylvania. [telegraph/via]

Things in His House That Make Me Sad: The Lack of a Window in His Bathroom

missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:01:31 -0400

Things in His House That Make Me Sad: The Lack of a Window in His Bathroom:

We’ve reached that point where it’s acceptable for me to engage in activities in his bathroom and maybe, maybe even leave a few items in there. I’m not gonna go all How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days on him and cram Costco-sized boxes of tampons everywhere, but I’m pretty sure a toothbrush and a razor are acceptable. This interesting turn of events leads to me occasionally getting ready at his place, which in turn, has led me to VERY MUCH notice his lack of a bathroom window.

I’ll be primping and pampering and hair-drying all up in there to look special for our date/bar outing/whatever when I am reminded of why I hate blow drying my hair – it gets so fucking hot in this grease fire of a bathroom. Normally, I could just open up a window and—bam, airflow yo!—but NO. Now not only is the mirror fogged up from my shower and his, but the hot air from my hair dryer is turning his tiny, little, sad bathroom into a full-on sauna.

It looks like a neighborhood haunted house with dry ice “special effects” mingled with some middle-aged lady’s dream spa day up in this bitch. How’s a girl suppose to look her flyest when she can barely even breathe? Instead of my tresses looking Charlie’s Angel-esque replete with soft curls and glossy sheen, my locks looked like an agitated cat’s tail. I’m getting upset all over again just thinking about it.

Let’s not even get started on the lighting going on in this place. First off – there is none, save for one glum like, five watt light bulb flickering hopelessly above. This whole room looks like its part of a horror movie set. I’m not completely convinced he didn’t steal this right off the set of Carrie or “American Horror Story.”

While I can appreciate the cinematic greatness of well-crafted movie sets, I cannot appreciate the way I exit this bathroom panting like a dog. This bathroom is claustrophobic and I you can bet your bottom dollar that I will blame his ass when I inevitably die of heatstroke.

jessiepeterson: My kind of party. You had me at...

missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:55:48 -0400

jessiepeterson:

My kind of party.

You had me at “chips”

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missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:46:45 -0400

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missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:52:45 -0400

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missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:23:03 -0400

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missannagoldfarb — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:20:16 -0400

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missannagoldfarb — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:25:25 -0400

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missannagoldfarb — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:24:33 -0400

"It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. You are not..."

missannagoldfarb — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:19:57 -0400

“It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say “That was shitty of you”. You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.”

- Unknown (via creatingaquietmind)

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missannagoldfarb — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 14:22:48 -0400

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missannagoldfarb — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 12:49:15 -0400

Some Strange Things Are Happening To Astronauts Returning To...

missannagoldfarb — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:36:36 -0400

Some Strange Things Are Happening To Astronauts Returning To Earth

Wow.

Bonerkiller: Obsessive Facebook Checkers

missannagoldfarb — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 12:24:22 -0400

Bonerkiller: Obsessive Facebook Checkers:

Full Disclosure: I have a Facebook account. But I kind of hate it.

Look, I freely admit that there are moments — early moments, long before a crush has developed into a date and is still gestating in the filthy gutter-puddle of fantasy that is my brain — when I think to myself, “Man, if only he was on Facebook.” His absence from that wretched cesspool of cyberstalking seriously diminishes my ability to ruminate on which of his features I hope our hypothetical children will inherit, and totally iCockblocks any chance I have of finding his most recent ex’s unflattering selfies.

But that’s where it ends, gang. Once we’ve actually interacted in the flesh, there’s nothing worse than his watching him obsessively check Facebook account.

Walking into a guy’s apartment after a giddy second date and finding his laptop open to Facebook is like winning the lottery and getting paid in Monopoly money; it’s a total bummer.

What are we, 17? Is his life, as a functional-enough adult that I was willing to spend time with him in public, so exhaustively boring that he maintains a second one online, bobby-trapped with infantile emojis and increasingly asinine acronyms? He’s all, “LOL, look at this cat vid my HS BFF posted!” or ”Ermagerd I can’t believe she checked in at Joshua Tree three nights in a row!”

And I’m all, “GMMFPBCIOH: Give Me My Fucking Panties Back, ‘Cause I’m Outta Here.”

I’m of the “Be Where You Are” school of thought: while the Internets occasionally amuse me, there’s nothing worse than being out with someone who would rather check in online that check out my ass (c’mon, guy, I wore this skirt for a reason.) So finding out that he’s so tied to his Facebook account that it’s open on his laptop at all times is more than enough to make me sad.

When we walk through that door, he has a major choice to make: immediately slam the laptop shut, conversation threads and notification icons be damned, and throw down with me (I promise to make it worth his while!), or take a quick peek at his friend requests — while I turn on my heel and march out the door to the nearest bar to request a drink…and find a real man.

littlepancakes: They’re trashing our rights! Trashingggg

missannagoldfarb — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:49:41 -0400

littlepancakes:

They’re trashing our rights! Trashingggg

tattoo idea

missannagoldfarb — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:48:15 -0400

tattoo idea

theclearlydope: I’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.

missannagoldfarb — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:42:18 -0400

theclearlydope:

I’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.

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missannagoldfarb — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 10:30:39 -0400

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missannagoldfarb — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 10:26:48 -0400